It’s been a sad, exhausting, and painful summer as we’ve watched tragic event after tragic event unfold across our country. 

Pundits, politicians, and meme creators have all weighed in.  And yet I still feel a collective paralysis. 

As my husband Rene and I watched the Sunday morning news shows recently, we turned to each other and asked, “What’s missing?” 

Almost in unison we said, "What's missing is human connection."

Instead, we watched “experts” talking past each other, escalating their volume when they didn’t feel heard. Isn’t this a microcosm of the problem we face as a nation?  

As Rene and I talked further, he shared with me what he has learned in his 25+ years in the mental health field.  While as Americans, we are diverse in many ways, there are some things we have in common:    a desire for human connection – and fear. 

Connection happens when we share our personal stories.  Deep connection happens when we share our fears.

In order to create deep connection, we must be willing to face our fears and tell our stories. 

As a leadership coach, I help my clients face their fears all the time. Whether you’re leading an organization or a family, one of the most powerful actions you can take is to face your fears and share your stories.  It’s how you connect deeply with others.  

I so admire one of my clients who shared with his senior staff the reason he had trouble trusting them. It wasn’t about them, he said, but about an experience he’d had at a previous organization.  As I watched him face his fears and share his story, I could feel the connections being formed. 

Personal stories create connection.  Personal stories that include sharing and facing fears can transform relationships, cities, nations and the world. 

What I really wanted to hear on that Sunday morning were personal stories. Stories of both triumph and tragedy.  Stories that help me connect with people who experience life differently from me.  I want to understand the things that make them fearful so I don’t do or say something unintentionally that creates more fear.  I wanted to hear stories that make me say, “Oh my gosh, me too!”

The difference each of us can make is to face our fears, share our stories, create connection, and ultimately, conquer fear.

If I can help you on that journey, contact me at gayle@total-life-leadership.com.