Total Life Leadership

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Why It’s Lonely at the Top

The Challenge

You've heard it said, "It's lonely at the top." Here are some things leaders tell me that weigh them down and contribute to feelings of potentially destructive loneliness.

In my leadership role I'm: 

  • responsible for the livelihoods of others.

  • expected to have simple answers to complex questions.

  • often the first to be privy to information that could negatively impact both clients and staff.

  • sometimes the center of negative attention when someone wants to play the blame game.

  • being closely observed in every situation.

  • put on a pedestal by others and expected to have no flaws or fears.


And here's the big one -  Because of my position, I am isolated and have no one to talk to about this stuff.
 
The Remedy 

  • Be honest with yourself about your feelings.
    Your feelings are real and need to be acknowledged.

  • Stay connected with the value your organization brings to the world. 
    Doing so reminds you of why you're in the role.

  • Maintain a curious mindset.
    This relieves the pressure of always having to be the "answer person".

  • Cultivate a sense of humor.
    Laughter at yourself can create connection and levity in challenging situations.

  • Practice self awareness.
    This allows you to effectively manage your emotions. 

  • Find trustworthy people (ideally more than one) with whom you can confide.
    The antidote to loneliness is connection.

The Truth

  • Every leader feels lonely at times.

  • Loneliness is not weakness.

  • Confiding in a coach, peer or partner (or all three) on a regular basis will help you maintain the perspective needed to effectively manage the pressure of your work. 

_______________________

Passionate Leadership
is who you're being as you're leading.

About the Author

Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator and founder of Total Life Leadership. At Total Life Leadership, we partner with purpose-driven non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them answer the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”

Using The Six Pillars of Passionate Leadership, we equip leaders to be the best they can be.  The result is a passionate leader whose team and organization are operating for maximum impact.

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