A Wardrobe Accessory Every Leader Needs
In J.K. Rowling’s best-selling Harry Potter novels, new arrivals at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry don the magical Sorting Hat during the opening banquet at the start of each new school year. The hat discerns the personality and temperament of each new student and determines which of the school’s four houses the student is best suited to join.
As business leaders, we’d all probably like to have our own version of the Sorting Hat to help us make better decisions, especially when we’re dealing with conflicts and stressful situations. As a leadership coach, I talk with my clients regularly about how to successfully handle a variety of situations, particularly stressful circumstances involving people or groups.
What causes a situation to be stressful? In my experience, it’s our thoughts and beliefs about a situation that create the stress. We assess what is happening based on the lens through which we view the world. In other words, we make judgments. We put on our Judgment Hat and we respond based on our view of what is “true” or “right.”
The problem with wearing the Judgment Hat is that it shuts us down to other perspectives.
Unlike in a courtroom where evidence is presented from both sides, when we put on the Judgment Hat, we’re only looking at limited evidence based on what we already know. Typically, we’re judging the situation or person as good or bad, right or wrong, worthy or unworthy.
When you don the Judgment Hat, black-and-white thinking results, leading to limited choices. And limited choices equals limited opportunities to solve problems and resolve conflicts.
So what’s a more effective apparel choice?
How about a Curiosity Hat?
Curiosity is sometimes uncomfortable because it represents a state of not knowing – of not being certain.
When you put on the Curiosity Hat, you’re actually opening yourself up to the possibility that there are things yet to be known about a person or situation – things that could shed new light and open up opportunities.
How do you know if you’re wearing the Curiosity Hat?
Simple. You’re asking questions – of yourself and others. Questions that often begin with “I wonder . . .”
I wonder what led them to that decision?
I wonder what caused them to be upset?
I wonder what contributed to that outcome?
I wonder what’s behind that question?
I wonder what I can do to help you succeed?
I wonder what would happen if . . .?
So which hat will you wear the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation? You can’t wear them both!
Passionate Leadership
is who you're being as you're leading.
About the Author
Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator and founder of Total Life Leadership. At Total Life Leadership, we partner with purpose-driven non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them answer the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”
Using The Six Pillars of Passionate Leadership, we equip leaders to be the best they can be. The result is a passionate leader whose team and organization are operating for maximum impact.
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