Train Your Inner Critic in Three Steps

We’ve all experienced it.

That voice inside your head that says: “You’re not good enough. You don’t have what it takes. Don’t even try, you’ll just muck things up.”

We often call that voice the Inner Critic. Some know it as The Gremlin; The Saboteur; The Firefighter; or Part X.

Many well-intentioned people will tell you to stop listening to the voice. Pretend it isn’t there. Drown out the voice with positive thoughts. 

How’s that working for you?

Here’s the thing.

That voice, the Inner Critic, is a part of you. It’s not the whole you, but it’s a part. And believe it or not, they are on your team.

The problem is your Inner Critic has created their own job description without consulting you.

The Inner Critic believes that their #1 job is to protect you. They’re like an internal body guard who seeks to block your movement toward the edge of your comfort zone.

While body guards certainly have their place, they’re not helpful when they prevent you from showing up at your best and achieving your goals.

Here are 3 steps to train your Inner Critic:

Greet your Inner Critic when they show up. In fact, I suggest getting really familiar. You might even want to give them a name. My Inner Critic’s name is Glow because she doesn’t like to be in the dark. She wants to know the exact path before we even begin the journey. If I let her take control, I’d never move forward because there are always unknowns, or, as she would say, dark places.

Thank your Inner Critic for wanting to protect you.  Your Inner Critic often gets a bad rap because you attribute negative intentions to them. The real intention is to protect you from embarrassment, shame and failure. What your Inner Critic needs to understand is that the kind of protection they’re offering isn’t what you need. When Glow, my Inner Critic, appears, I thank her for showing up, ask her what she want to tell me and and remind her that she's appreciated.  

Give your Inner Critic a new job. Invite you inner critic to be on your team and work together to develop a new job description. After some conversation, we decided the best way Glow can support me is to be less of a nervous boss and more of a cheerleader. Now, when she shows up, I remind her to put on her uniform and shake her pompoms. And she’s happy to do it.

Psychologist C. G. Jung famously said, “Whatever you resist, persists.” The more you resist your Inner Critic, the more attention they will demand. On the other hand, embracing your Inner Critic using this three-step process will free you to lead yourself toward the success you desire.

If your Inner Critic is preventing you from showing up at your best, I'd love to have a conversation with you. There's no cost and lots of value. 

Passionate Leadership
is who you're being as you're leading.

About the Author

Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator and founder of Total Life Leadership. At Total Life Leadership, we partner with purpose-driven non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them answer the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”

Using The Six Pillars of Passionate Leadership, we equip leaders to be the best they can be.  The result is a passionate leader whose team and organization are operating for maximum impact.

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