The Hardest Leader to Report To
Recently I got some troubling news about an acquaintance and was instantly transported back to a difficult time in my career and life. A time when I was essentially fired for being a "bad" leader. Yep, that happened. And no it wasn't because I broke the law or created bad press for the organization. In short, it was because I could never satisfy the hardest leader I ever reported to - ME.
In fact, what often generates windstorms for leaders is that they set impossibly high standards for themselves and, in turn, expect the same super human feats from those they lead. That's a combination that doesn't usually end well.
Here are some signs that your self leadership may be sabotaging you:
You carry the weighty belief that the entire success or failure of your team or organization is solely on you.
You focus on weaknesses and limitations rather than on strengths.
You believe human value comes from what you do.
Let's start with the first one. It is simply not true that, as the leader of a team or organization, you are or could be solely responsible for it's success or failure. Carrying this belief sets you up for extreme stress and the danger that you transfer the stress to those you lead through unspoken expectations or erratic behavior. Your job as a leader is to clearly define the vision for the team, get the right people on board, give them the tools they need and provide support. Yes, you have a unique and critical role, but don't let that voice in your head pressure you into carrying so much weight that you actually sabotage yourself.
Now, about focusing on strengths instead of weaknesses. When is the last time you reminded yourself of what you're really good at? Are you good at envisioning the future? building relationships? creating processes? empowering others? If you're not sure what you're good at, there's also a good chance that you're not clear on the strengths of those you lead. Let me remind you of this axiom - "You get more of what you focus on." When you discover and deploy your strengths in your leadership role and, help your team do the same, you simply get better results. Remind that pesky voice in your head that there's no need to pressure you to set impossibly high standards when you take a strengths-based approach.
And finally, let's tackle the belief that human value (yours and others) comes from what you do. Ironically, this belief can be a real challenge for service-oriented leaders. Do you love what you do because of the service you provide or the mission you champion? Do you consider yourself a servant-leader? So, what happens when that voice in your head says you haven't done your best or done enough? Is your worth so tied up in your service that your self regard is conditional? If so, what impact does this conditional regard have on your leadership? The news of my acquaintance this week reminded me that I still have some work to do in this area.
The lowest point in my career led me to do a deep dive into cultivating my own self-awareness and to devote my life to helping leaders develop their self-awareness to counteract that voice in their head that can be the hardest leader they ever had to report to.
If this message sticks with you and you'd like to have a conversation about how to deal with that voice in your head, click the link below to schedule a complimentary 30 minute conversation. There's no cost, no obligation and plenty of value.
About the Author
Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator who believes Passionate Leadership can change the world. She works with business and non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them perform more effectively so they and their businesses can thrive.
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