Why Do I Have to Keep Repeating Myself?
It may seem glamorous to be a writer on a book tour or an actor/actress making the rounds to promote a new movie. But think about it - traveling from city to city, venue to venue, zoom call to zoom call saying essentially the same thing over and over. And answering the same predictable questions as if it's the first time you've heard them. Frankly, this probably becomes arduous pretty quickly.
This leadership quote has stayed with me for years.
“When you think you’re communicating too much, you’re probably communicating about right.”
I don’t know who said it, but as a leader, I’m sure you’ve found yourself regularly repeating a message. So regularly that you wonder whether anyone is listening.
The truth is that, as a leader, you have many audiences - staff, boards, volunteers, donors and clients. As you speak to each of these constituencies it’s imperative to remember that these groups are made up of individuals. And individuals are subject to selective hearing.
Here are some examples:
- You share a project revision with your team and are asked later by an individual to explain the revision again.
- You make a request of your board and no one responds.
- You communicate an important decision like a change in service hours and a client shows up outside the new hours.
Here is a good place to remind you of the Communication Process model developed by Claude Shannon and Warren.
As you can see, effective communication depends upon:
1. Crafting a well thought out message by the Sender (encoding)
2. Choosing the appropriate method(s) to communicate - verbal and/or written (channel)
3. Appropriate interpretation of the message by the Receiver (decoding)
So what's a busy leader to do instead of getting frustrated when you find yourself having to repeat the same message?
Commit to Doing your Best
Continue to do your best to craft an effective message and choose the most appropriate channel(s).
Ask Questions to Ensure Understanding
As you can see from in the model above, there's also a feedback loop essentially reversing the communication process.
Asking clarification questions is the most effective way to ascertain whether your message was clearly received. Here are some suggested questions:
- Based on what you just heard/read, what are your next steps?
- What was your understanding of what I just said/wrote?
- How did you interpret what I said/wrote?
Note: These questions must be asked from a place of curiosity so that the Receiver doesn't feel judged if they interpreted incorrectly.
Rinse and Repeat Your Message, as Needed
If you learn that your message wasn't received as you intended, identify the communication gaps and retool your message to provide further clarity.
And here's the key to reducing your frustration:
Manage Your Expectations
When you share a message to a group (no matter how well crafted), they’re a strong possibility you won't get through to everyone. And that individuals may interpret the message differently. So get comfortable with the fact that, as a leader:
“When you think you’re communicating too much, you’re probably communicating about right.”
_______________________
Passionate Leadership
is who you're being as you're leading.
About the Author
Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator and founder of Total Life Leadership. At Total Life Leadership, we partner with purpose-driven non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them answer the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”
Using The Six Pillars of Passionate Leadership, we equip leaders to be the best they can be. The result is a passionate leader whose team and organization are operating for maximum impact.
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