How Do I Know I Can Trust Myself?
For more than two years, COVID has disrupted virtually every business and leaders have been forced take a plunge into turbulent waters. Leaders who've built a solid foundation of trust with their teams have generally faired better than those with a shaky trust foundation.
As a leader in these unprecedented times, it's natural to wonder whether you can trust yourself to make the best decisions. Trust is fundamental to cohesive, high performing teams. And for leaders, trust building with others begins with cultivating self trust.
If you're like me, my level of self-trust sometimes gets fuzzy. I get a vague feeling that I can't trust myself or that I am missing something important.
In order to get more clear about what's really going on when I doubt myself, I turn to Brene Brown, the famous researcher/storyteller and her framework The Anatomy of Trust.
The Anatomy of Trust is built on the acronym, BRAVING. It provides a way to both probe self trust and to talk about trust with others. You can learn more about it in Brown's book, Dare to Lead.
When you find that you're doubting yourself, use the BRAVING framework to help determine where you might make improvements.
Boundaries Did I respect my own boundaries in the situation? Was I clear with myself and others about what's okay and what's not okay?
Reliability
Did I do what I say I would do? Am I aware of my own competencies and limitations so that I don't overpromise and am able to deliver on my commitments and balance competing priorities?
Accountability
Did I hold myself accountable by owning my mistakes, apologizing and making amends? Did I hold others accountable when I should have?
Vault
Did I appropriately share information or experiences about other people? Did I stop others from sharing inappropriately?
Integrity
Did I choose courage over comfort? Did I practice my values? Did I do what I thought was right, or did I opt for fast and easy?
Nonjudgment
Did I ask for help when I needed it? Did I practice nonjudgment when others asked for help? Am I able to practice nonjudgment in conversations with others about how we're feeling?
Generosity
Did I extend the most generous interpretation possible to my intentions, words and actions? Did I have self-compassion?
You ask, "How do I know I can trust myself?" When you experience self doubt, review the BRAVING behaviors, choose an area of focus that needs work and then set small intentions to strengthen your self trust.
Passionate leaders embody trust by continually demonstrating what trust looks and feels like in all their interactions.
About the Author
Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator who believes Passionate Leadership can change the world. She works with business and non-profit leaders and teams to help them perform more effectively so they and their businesses can thrive.
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