How to Address Perplexing Behavior
You lead a great team. You feel energized and excited to lead them in work that you all love. And yet, there is one team member who exhibits some perplexing behavior. She consistently interrupts others in meetings and her team members have come to you to handle it.
I use the word "perplexing" for the behavior rather than "bad" or "negative" because it connotes curiosity rather than judgment. It's not that the behavior doesn't need to be dealt with, however, the mindset with which you come to the situation will directly impact the outcome.
Here's what often happens:
When someone exhibits undesirable behavior, it's easy to misinterpret what's happening.
She's not a team player; she's only out for herself.
And then to take action based on that misinterpretation, rather than explore what's really going on.
This is where the Center for Creative Leadership's SBI feedback tool can really help out.
Situation - Behavior - Impact is a feedback tool that has proven to be effective at delivering difficult feedback.
Here's how it works:
1. Describe the Situation
Be specific about when and where it occurred.
Example: At this morning's meeting . . .
2. Describe the observable Behavior
Example: . . . you interrupted both Joe and Tara before they could finish their input.
3. Describe the Impact (or results) of the behavior
Example: Your interruptions prevented your team mates from participating fully in the meeting and, if they continue, will impact the cohesiveness of the team.
What Next?
After you describe the situation, behavior and impact, explore with the team member what might be going on. Ask questions to uncover their intent.
Examples: What's going on when you interrupt someone? What makes it hard for you to allow someone to finish their thought?
These exploratory questions can help reveal the real reason for the team member's behavior. And then you can assist them in bringing their intent and behavior into alignment.
Giving difficult feedback isn't easy to do. But, as a leader, it's part of the job. The good news is that the more you stay in a place of curiosity rather than judgment, the easier it gets. And the better the outcomes.
About the Author
Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator who believes Passionate Leadership can change the world. She works with business and non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them perform more effectively so they and their businesses can thrive.
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