Life Lessons from a Gentle Giant

I got to know him at family holiday gatherings.

I saw him about 3 times a year.

He was "extended" family.

John Paul, affectionately known as JP, was special.

He was a non-speaking person with autism.

He communicated in gestures and sounds that I couldn't understand.

And yet his love was always on display.

When he and his family discovered letterboarding as a method to unlock his ability to communicate using words, we all learned how articulate, intelligent and wise he was.

When he was fifteen, he wrote this poem:

Under your vessel of sinew
In your bones
Flows fluidly freely formed energy
Passionate dreams
Only accessible if
Self love Self acceptance Self belief inside
Long only for this with parched lips

At seventeen JP was over six feet tall and aptly described as a gentle giant.

In September of his seventeenth year, JP suffered a seizure.
He did not survive.

All those who knew him (family, friends, girlfriend and the autism community) will grieve at some level for the rest of their lives.

As I reflect on his life, three lessons come to mind. 

1.  Don't Reject a Person Based on Your First Impression
I admit that when I first met JP, I didn't know how to approach him. In fact, I found myself a bit afraid.

I wasn't sure what to say and not at all sure he'd understand me. It would have been more comfortable to not engage except that JP was always engaging in his way.  

Over time, I learned to meet him where he was, speak to him without expecting him to speak back and trust that we were connecting through the ether. 

2.  Embrace Difference
JP's "difference" was apparent for everyone to see. His distinctive gestures and guttural utterances announced his presence.

With most others who look and act differently than us, we can learn to appreciate their differences through conversation. 

That is, if we're brave enough to have the conversation. 

3.  Find a Way to Unlock Strengths
As JP moved into adolescence, his intellectual prowess was unlocked via a communication method known as letterboarding.

Letterboarding uses an alphabetic template to allow a non-speaking person to spell out words, sentences and paragraphs by pointing to the letters on the template. 

Here's a picture of a letterboard.

When JP and his family discovered this tool, it changed their lives. Now they could communicate in the same language. JP's mom shared her conversations with JP on Facebook from time to time. I was amazed at JP's comprehension of the world around him. And touched by his sensitive understanding of human nature. 

If we each work only half as hard as JP's family did at finding ways to unlock the strengths in those around us, we will be astonished at how they can contribute to a better workplace and a better world.

JP will be missed by those whom he touched in this world. And I, for one, want to carry on his legacy of love, courage and acceptance.

_______________________

Passionate Leadership
is who you're being as you're leading.

About the Author

Gayle Ely is a Leadership Coach, Trainer and Facilitator and founder of Total Life Leadership. At Total Life Leadership, we partner with purpose-driven non-profit leaders and service entrepreneurs to help them answer the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”

Using The Six Pillars of Passionate Leadership, we equip leaders to be the best they can be.  The result is a passionate leader whose team and organization are operating for maximum impact.

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