The Surprisingly Small Step That Builds Trust

As a leader in a public sector organization, I use to believe that I could build a high performing team from a distance. 

What do I mean be that? 

I mean that on an unconscious level, I operated from the perspective that I could successfully lead without developing personal relationships with those I led.  I'm not talking about becoming buddies who hang out together after work.  I'm talking about relationships in which we learn enough about each other to spark and fan the flames of  human connection.

This became clear to me when I was presenting to a group in the organization.  During that presentation, I shared a a bit of personal information about myself.  Afterwards, one person sought me out and thanked me for sharing that personal tidbit.  It was as if a thirst had been quenched.

Looking back, I realize now that sharing that tidbit represented an act of trust for her.  She, in essence, was thanking me for trusting her with my personal information.

In business relationship circles, it's often said that people do business with people they
Know, Like and Trust. 

The same can be said for people and teams in organizations.  And it's particularly crucial in these times when the winds are blowing and the seas are rough.

In the book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni, says that trust lies at the heart of a functioning, cohesive team.   He describes high trust teams as those who are "comfortable being vulnerable with one another."  

Building high trust with people, teams and organizations starts gradually with people getting to know each other.  And you, as the leader, must go first.

I'm not talking about a confessional data dump.  
I'm talking about starting with something simple and non sensitive. 
Something like sharing where you grew up.
And then encouraging others to do the same.

It's these small, seemingly inconsequential conversations that begin the trust-building process.
One simple way to facilitate this process is to start each team meeting or 1-2-1 conversation with a question designed to learn more about each other. 

Questions such as:
Where did you grow up?
What's your sibling position? 
What's your favorite childhood memory?
What's something I don't know about you?
What's important in you life right now?

If this is something you haven't been doing as a leader, it may feel awkward to share personal information and ask others to do the same.

My suggestion is to start by talking about trust in general.
What makes trust important to you?  To the team?

Then introduce the idea of building time into your meetings to learn about each other.  
This is one way to form the deeper connections that form the fabric of trust.

Steven M.R. Covey, author of, The Speed of Trust, says trust is the #1 competency of leadership needed today. 
Why?  Because high trust organizations reap huge relational and economic dividends.

How about you?  How do you build trust with you teams?